6 Things I’ve Learned Since Getting Married
It’s no secret that Ty and I were together for a pretty long time before we got married. Well, some people consider it a pretty long time, I guess. But, those people that stuck together for ten years before tying the knot? Well, we’re a bunch of puppies to them. At any rate, we had been together for nearly five and a half years before we finally sealed the deal.
Being that we knew each other so well before getting hitched, I didn’t really think much would change between us. And, for the most part, it hasn’t. Life has continued on as normal. But, that doesn’t mean absolutely everything is the same.
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, marriage introduces something new. You’ve made it official. You’ve promised to stick together through thick, thin, and all of the other things life throws your way. Whether it’s conscious or not, it does slightly change the dynamic within your relationship. And, it’s also made it clear to me that I’m never going to be done learning about Ty. People are complex. There’s always more to know.
So, my friends, without further blabbering from me, here are six things I’ve learned in my (almost) four months of marriage!
WHAT I’VE LEARNED SINCE GETTING MARRIED
1. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT SOMEONE.
Alright, so Ty has been pretty transparent to me for at least a few years (although, that’s probably partly due to the fact that he’s just an incredibly predictable person—sorry, Ty!). I often know what he’s about to say, just by the look on his face. And, I can always tell when he’s getting hungry and crabby. Those two things go hand-in-hand.
For a while, I thought I had his every mood, thought, and emotion down pat. Well, that’s not the case. As I mentioned above, I’ve discovered that you’re just never going to know everything there is to know about someone—even if that someone is your spouse. People are constantly learning, changing, and thinking. They don’t always fit into this mold of who you expect them to be. And, sometimes feelings and actions just aren’t rational—they can’t be predicted.
So, I’ve learned that it’s important that you never stop learning about your spouse. Ask how they’re feeling. Inquire about how their day was. Ask for explanations. Not only is it a great way to stay in tune with one another, it also opens up some pretty engaging conversations!
2. YOU’RE GOING TO GET ANNOYED, AND THAT’S OK.
Guess what—the annoying things Ty did that repeatedly drove me up a wall didn’t magically vanish after we got married. They’re still alive and well in the form of socks on our kitchen counter (yes, Ty really does this—everybody yell at him).
I think it’s a common misconception that just because you love someone means you need to love absolutely everything about them. But, I’m here to burst that bubble. Ty does plenty of things that drive me absolutely crazy—and he knows it. And, I’m sure I do plenty of things that have him tearing his hair out (just kidding, I’m perfect).
But, as long as the good outweighs the bad, I think you’re doing alright. Love is about accepting flaws, not ignoring or erasing them. Although, I wouldn’t mind if the socks on the kitchen counter thing stopped…
3. YOU NEED TO LET GO OF THE SMALL THINGS.
Yes, there are going to be plenty of small annoyances that drive you nuts. But, what does dwelling on those and constantly pestering your partner about them really accomplish—other than make them feel bad and you seem like a nag?
In the grand scheme of things, those pesky behaviors are completely miniscule. So, spend more of your energy focusing on those big things you love about your partner. Take a deep breath and don’t bother sweating the small stuff. It doesn’t matter anyway.
4. YOU DON’T NEED TO BE TOGETHER CONSTANTLY.
I know that marriage essentially transforms you into one unit. It turns your “you and me” into a “we”. And, I’m totally ok with that.
But, on the same token, Ty and I have always been pretty independent people. Of course, we’d never make large decisions without talking things over with the other, and we’re always considerate and inclusive. But, we have no issue doing things on our own either. Ty might go grab happy hour drinks with some guys from work. Or, I might go see a movie with a girlfriend on a Friday night.
We enjoy being together. But, we don’t put pressure on ourselves to do it all the time. I think a few separate activities and social outings are actually healthy!
5. JOINT FINANCES CAN BE TRICKY.
Oh man, this has been one of the biggest adjustments for Ty and I since getting married. We lived together before we were married, which meant we needed to live in financial harmony. But, actually changing our checking account, savings account, and credit card into joint accounts has been a big switch.
When everything was separated, we’d switch off on paying for things. Even now, we still find ourselves saying, “Oh, I’ll pick this up!”—completely forgetting that it’s all coming from the same place now. It’s all made even more tricky by the fact that my business account stays completely separate from all of our other finances—yet it’s where all of my income goes.
It hasn’t been a bad adjustment by any means. It’s just been different!
6. A HONEYMOON IS THE GREATEST THING. EVER.
I’m almost ashamed to admit this, but Ty and I had never really taken a vacation together before our honeymoon. And, considering how long we were together, that’s pretty embarrassing.
To be honest, we didn’t think a honeymoon would be that important. We even debated not taking one just to save the money. But, now I think it’s one of the best things a newly married couple can do.
Ty and I had the most amazing time, and it created a ton of happy memories right at the start of our marriage. To this day, when one of us is feeling low, we talk about something that happened on our honeymoon and our spirits are immediately lifted. So, in short, don’t skip the honeymoon. It’s the BEST!
Of course, I’ve also learned a few other things. For example, changing your name is an absolute pain in the butt, but having reliable health insurance is a positive blessing. All in all, married life is a trip, and I’m enjoying every second of it!
What big things did you learn after getting married? Help a newlywed out!
Until next time!